Jungle.com was asked a simple question – Do you still sell blank CDs? Instead of simply saying ‘No’, the company replied:
‘We are currently in the process of consolidating our product range to ensure that the products that we stock are indicative of our brand aspirations. As part of our range consolidation we have also decided to revisit our supplier list and employ a more intelligent system for stock acquisition. As a result of the above certain product lines are now unavailable through jungle.com, whilst potentially remaining available from more mainstream suppliers.’
This along with many such gems had been selected by the Plain English Campaign for Golden Bull Awards for 2003’s worst examples of gobbledygook.
Here is the pièce de résistance:
‘In these Regulations, unless the context otherwise requires, any reference to a numbered regulation is a reference to the regulation bearing that number in these regulations and any reference in a regulation to a numbered paragraph is a reference to the paragraph of that regulation bearing that number.’
You can have the whole list here!
- Enough of bourgeoisie life – Gimme back my childhood!
- Embrace, Extend and Exterminate!