Blog of Cyber Brahma » quotes

Nuggets-Page-16

S.K — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:33:26 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 16

The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Middle age - when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

Feminists and flat tires are seldom in each others company.

~ Paul Elam

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Karama saari basa (Relax only after finishing the job)
Bhagari maari hasa (Laugh only after killing your enemy)

~ An Oriya proverb

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

~ David Bissonette

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

~ Sigmund Freud

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

~ Patrick Murra

Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Prospective husband in a bookstore: "Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?"
Salesgirl: "The fiction department is on the other side, sir."

Leading normal life, doing normal things, that is the good luck we don't even think about.

~ Sreekant Khandekar

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

~ Carlos Castaneda

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.

~ Carlos Castaneda

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

~ Jerome K. Jerome

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

~ Bertrand Russell

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

~ Orson Welles

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

~ H.L. Mencken

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.

~ GFW

Recursive
definition: see recursive..

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

~ Saki

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use.

~ William James

Honesty is the best image.

~ Tom Wilson

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

~ Oscar Wilde

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

~ S.K

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

~ John Cleese

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

~ Abraham Lincoln

Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.

~ Aldous Huxley

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

~ Will Rogers

The best way to handle a temptation is to succumb to that.

~ Oscar wilde

Be right at the right place and time. No use cribbing you're right and the world has been unfair to you. Choose the right place and time (and the person) to be right with!

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

~ Oscar Wilde

When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.

~ Frederic Bastiat

He who is not sure of his memory should not undertake the trade of lying.

~ Montaigne

Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes.

~ The Count of Monte Cristo

If you have something to hide you probably shouldn’t put it on the web and shouldn’t have done that in the first place.

~ Eric Schmidt, Google CEO on privacy on internet

I would love to change the world, I just don't have the source code yet.

We never have the time to do it right
but always have time to do it over.

~ Anon

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Nuggets-Page-15

S.K — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:36:09 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 15

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

~ a T-shirt factoid

Truth is restricted to being one. Lie is not.

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Balance sheet:
On the left side nothing's right and
on the right side nothing's left.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur.

~ Red Adair

Confusion is a kinky form of enlightenment, clarity in drag.

~ Sherab Chodzin Kohn

Uncertainty is certainty that has stepped on a banana peel.

~ Sherab Chodzin Kohn

Negativity is brilliance competing with itself.

~ Sherab Chodzin Kohn

"As above so below;
as below so above;
as within so without;
as without so within."

~ Hermes

Meditation makes doing nothing look respectable.

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

~ Napoleon Bonaparte

We agreed to disagree and that is the only thing that we have ever agreed.

Half the world doesn't know how the other three quarters live.

A politician is trained int he art of inexactitude.

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

Law can never correct a family, it can only destroy.

The silence of good men is more dangerous than the brutality of bad men.

Every man is of supreme importance to himself.

~ Samuel Johnson

Q: What is the art of diplomacy?
A: Providing answers that don't even begin to match the question.

~ K.Balakumar

Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains.

~ Sir Thomas Buxton

The love of indolence is universal, or next to it.

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Statistics are 99% accurate and 1% true.

We are not out of work because the economy is bad. The economy is bad because we are out of work.

~ Keep America at Work

It’s not the question of being at the right place at the right time. It is also being lucky.

~ Nandan Nilekani, co-founder of Infosys

“I have known you for longer than I have not known you.”

~ Kris Gopalakrishnan

Most men live lives of quiet desperation.

~ Voltaire

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

What a computer is to me is it's the most remarkable tool that we've ever come
up with, and it's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds.

~ Steve Jobs

Our lives are frittered away by detail;
simplify, simplify.

~ Henry

To amplify, try to simplify.

Nobody says it better than the guy quoting the boss.

~ Workplace wisdom

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up.
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle.
When the sun comes up, you better start running.

You can never cross the ocean unless you lose sight of the shore.

~ Christopher Columbus

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.

The roots of science, religion and philosophy can be traced to a mortal fear of nature, future and the unknown.

~ T.R.Jawahar

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,but the silence of our friends.

~ Martin Luther King Jr

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Nuggets-Page-14

S.K — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 06:43:30 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 14

Borrow money from pessimists.
They don't expect it back.

When you make a war talk, you had better be prepared for a war.

"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."

~ Jim Rohn

Cruelty springs from weakness and insecurity.

People who have time on hands will inevitably waste the time of others who have work to do.

~ Thomas Sowell

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Just because you can do something, that doesn't mean you should.

Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!

~ Seen in a beauty parlor

Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.

Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.....

A traffic slogan

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.

I want to be like Gandhi, Martin Luther King and John Lennon.... but I want to stay alive.

~ Medonna

When people find out that I'm just a human being I guess I disappoint them.

~ Beyonce Knowles

A happy marriage is the one that exists "betwixt a blind wife and a deaf husband".

~ Michael de Montaigue

Men are always doomed to be duped — they are always wooing Goddesses and marrying mere mortals.

~ Washington Irving

Money is honey
my little sonny
and a rich man's joke
is always funny.

~ Thomas Edward Brown

There are three kinds of people - those who can count and those who can't.

Humility is a strange thing. The moment you think you've got it, you've lost it.

Small things hurt a lot. You can sit on top of a mountain but not on the tip of a pin.

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

~ Oscar Wilde

I don't worry about terrorism.
I was married for two years.

~ Sam Kinison

Everybody is born with death in him; it is only a matter of time.

Louis L'Amour

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

The concept that an accused is innocent till proved guilty and must be treated with due respect and dignity finds no place in Indian courts where only the judge has honour and only the advocates are learned.

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Girls want a wedding, they don't want a marriage. If only you could have weddings without marriages.

~ Sir Salman Rushdie

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

~ Wayne Gretzky, Canadian Hockey player

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

The difference between a child and an adult is not years, rather it is a willingness to accept responsibility, to be responsible for one's actions.

~ Louis L'Amour

The truth is more important than the facts.

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Inspirational quotes from bloggers

S.K — Sun, 03 May 2009 09:42:41 +0000

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Nuggets-Page-10

S.K — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 20:30:31 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 10

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurence J. Peter

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

Aaron McGruder

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.

Will Rogers

"Who are you and how did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith."

Leslie Nielsen

The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything - or nothing.

Nancy Astor

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

Gordon R. Dickson

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Laurence J. Peter

You must quit when people ask you "why", and not, "why not"!

Sir Frank Worrell, the West Indies cricket legend.

Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

The ripest peach is highest on the tree.

Morality is contraband in war.

~ Mohandas K. Gandhi

When I could not see the light with my blind eyes, I blamed not my eyes, but the sun.

~ Saint Jerome

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men.

~ Plato

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

~ Woody Allen

But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

~ Ronald Reagan

"If I don't seem as depressed or morose as I should be, sorry to disappoint you."

There is no such thing, at this stage of the worldâ€™s history in America, as an independent press. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinions out of the paper. We are intellectual prostitutes.

John Swinton, a journalist, in 1890

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

~ David Frost

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat.
Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant

~ Scott Adams

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

~ Cato the Elder

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

~ Rich Cook

Normal people believe that if it ainâ€™t broke, donâ€™t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ainâ€™t broke, it doesnâ€™t have enough features yet.

~ Scott Adams

Man is the lowest-cost, 150-pound, nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.

~ NASA in 1965

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~ Aesop

Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind.

~ Marston Bates

All marriages are mixed marriages.

~ Chantal Saperstein

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

~Will Rogers

To believe is to know you believe, and to know you believe is not to believe.

~ Jean-Paul Sartre

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

~ Groucho Marx

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.

~ Samuel Johnson

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

~ C. S. Lewis

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

~ John Buchan

The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as the silly extravagances of the poor.

~ William Feather

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

~ Mark Twain

All Religions were invented by the Devil to conceal God from Mankind.

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

~ Earl Wilson

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.

~ Francis H. Bradley

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Nuggets-Page-9

S.K — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:30:43 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 9

You must have the steak as well as the sizzle.

I don't see any reason why American troops won't be able to come home Iraq slightly earlier than never!

~ Seen in The Onion.

Dictionary is the place where divorce comes before marriage.

College is a place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

"etc." - A sign to make others believe you know more than you actually do.

A classic is book which people praise, but never read.

Experience is the name men give to their mistakes.

A criminal is guy who is no different from the rest - except that he got caught!

Boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor is one who kills your ills with pills, but kills you with his bills.

"AIDS" - a superconductor (No resistance!)

An elephant is a mouse built on Government specifications.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Be kind to plants; eat more herbivores.

Committees do harm merely by existing.

Repay your debts only if you have plans to ask for more.

Do unto others what they would do unto you, before they get a chance.

An accountant is one who comes to a different conclusion when he adds up your expenses.

It is not enough that you succeed; others must fail.

Junk : Stuff you throw away
Stuff : Junk you keep

Mary had a little lamb - the doctor was surprised!

The buck doesn't even slow down here!

A signature reveals a man's character - sometimes his name too.

In countries under dictatorship, surgeons remove tonsils only through the anus!

Honesty is a policy that never matures for payment.

A friend in need is a friend to avoid!

Reading maketh a full nerd, writing an egghead and speaking a fearful dread!

Justice delayed is advocate longer paid.

Charity begins at home, and stays there mostly.

If you want to achieve success, peck, burrow, bray and kneel.

If you don't succeed at first attempt, bluff and bribe again.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Albert Einstein

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."

Ronald Reagon

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

G.K.Chesterton

Ten habits of extremely lazy people:-

1. They don't like to finish things.....

The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Miguel de Cervantes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

Oscar Wilde

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My Pulpit

S.K — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:42:00 +0000

Browse through my renderings to the mankind out of the Gray matter to make your life better!

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Nuggets-Page-5

S.K — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 13:03:32 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 5

When the government bureau's remedies don't match your problem, you modify the problem, not the remedy.

When God endowed human beings with brains, he did not intend to guarantee them.

In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure..!

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

The Income Tax Act of India runs over 950 pages with an assortment of 298 sections.

Save energy: be apathetic.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

To determine how long it will take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.

~ The Briggs-Chase Law of Program Development

Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.

When all other means of communication fail, try words.

News is something someone somewhere doesn't want printed. Everything else is advertising!

Even the best watchmakers of the world cannot stop time!

Admiration is the daughter of ignorance.

Middle age is when the age starts to show around the middle!

At first man seeks possessions. Then the possessions become the man. Then he loses his self, his spirit and his soul.

Never trouble the trouble until trouble troubles you!

To call him 'moth-balled' is an insult to naphthalene.

Zadra's Law of BioMechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach!

Today''s laurels are tomorrow''s compost!

Why 'Expires on' or 'Use before'? Why not 'Enjoy by'?

I don't want friends. Friends always hurt you in the end. The human race is flawed from its very inception. Nobody is really able to love unselfishly. Everybody is cursed with the dark design of evolution, masterful yet cruel oeuvre of God.

~ Isidore Ducasse

The man who makes no mistake does not usually make anything.

You get ulcer not from what you eat but from what eats you.

Major organizations try to find temporary solutions to permanent problems and permanent solutions to temporary problems!

All round happiness!

Walk groundly

Talk profoundly

Drink roundly

Sleep soundly.

Researchers in Nottingham University in England have found that mothers who shun meat or fish and swear by herbivoral existence are more likely to give birth to daughters than carnivores! The reason: It is theorized that vegetarian diet stresses the mothers' body so much that only the stronger (read - female) embryos survive!

A ship is safest anchored at the harbor. But it is not meant for that purpose.

Don't try to be so humble, you are not that great!

"'sic transit gloria mundi' (Thus passes the Glory of the World!)"

Light cannot be adulterated with darkness.

"You cannot make an omelette without breaking the egg."

He had such a criminal record that he was wanted in 12 states and not wanted in the rest!

Drinking problem: 2 hands, but only one mouth!

Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!

"One of these days is none of these days!"

It is the busiest man who has time to spare.

Guide to Modern Science:

If it is green or if it wriggles, it is Biology.

If it stinks, it is Chemistry.

If it doesn't work, it is Physics.

If it is incomprehensible, it is Mathematics.

If it doesn't make any sense, it is either economics or Psychology!

I could have been an Egyptologist, but mummy objected.
I wanted to be a mathematician, but I had too many problems.
Alternately, I wanted to become a mid-wife, but the labor pained me.

What is a sanitarium? Ans: A 'nut factory'!

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Nuggets-Page-8

S.K — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:00:55 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 8

My dad discovered my mom and then invented me.

~ Unknown.

A person's worst critics are those who have benefited the most from him.

~ Aesop.

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.

~ David Russell.

It's called take-home pay because there's nowhere else you can afford to go with it!

~ Anon.

Where there is a will, there is an inheritance tax.

~ Anon.

Doctors bury their mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.

~ Don't know who!"

History never looks like history when you are living through it.

~ John W. Gardner."

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

~ George Bernard Shaw.

Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people!

A rupee saved is Income Tax department's oversight.

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

~ Immanuel Kant.

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with -- even if he drank.

~ H.L. Mencken.

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.

~ Sir Thomas Beecham.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

~ Mark Twain .

The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

~ Albert Einstein

The great tragedy of science: the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.

~ Thomas Huxley

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

~ Napoleon

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII; and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.

~ Douglas Adams

I have learnt silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

~ Khalil Gibran

He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

~ Albert Einstein

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

~ Aldous Huxley

Success depends on three things:

who says it,

what he says,

how he says it;

and of these three things,
what he says is the least important.

~ John, Viscount Morley of Blackburn

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~ Franklin D.Roosevelt

Journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

~ C.K.Chesterton

Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory can't make it believable.

~ Cicero

India has too many laws; too little justice.

~ N.A.Palkiwala

An appeaser is one who feeds a corcodile - hoping that it will eat him last.

~ Winston Churchill

I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

~ Winston Churchill.

Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress - show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.

~ Thomas Alva Edison.

Few people know how to be old.

~ Rochefoucauld

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

~ George Bernard Shaw.

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Sign posted in a Rhodes tailor shop

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest

I sometimes feel I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe..!

Saw in a sig.

Don't drill too deep for truth; you'll end up deeply disappointed!

~ S.K

A Whale shark is a whale among sharks, whereas a Killer Whale is a shark among whales!

~ S.K

Each year 100 million sharks are being killed by man - so many that if you put them together, nose to tail, they would encircle the globe five times!

~ Premier Magazine.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

~ Mark Twain

If you don't stand for something, you might fall for everything.

It is not the pen.
It is the penmanship.

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Nuggets-Page-7

S.K — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:00:16 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 7

A hangover is the vengeance of grapes!

You ain't learning nothing when you are talking!

I have made up my mind. So, don't confuse me with facts!

Depression is the higher pitch of sorrow just as rancour is a higher pitch of anger.

'Ties are for slaves!' - A T-Shirt ad.

He was the only one in the group on a trip to Europe who didn't find anything wrong with the Tower of Pisa!

A man isn't necessarily a burglar because he wears a decent set of dress!

If someone doesn't create wealth, and slightly excess of it, charity would not just begin at home but would remain there!

We are on the wrong side of the tapestry

~ Father Brown

Fact is opinion.

~ Jug Soraya

I have been doing this from the time when you were a mere itch in your father's pants.

~ Heared in "Lethal weapon".

All cats are gray in the dark!

Which is bigger, Mr.Bigger or Master Bigger?
Ans: Master Bigger, because he is a little Bigger!
Which is bigger, Mr.Bigger or his Old maid aunt?
Ans: The old maid aunt, because, whatever happens, she is always Bigger!

~ P.G.wodehouse.

Some cute Euphemistic Aliases!

Car Salesperson: Transportation Counselor

Elevator Operator: A member of the Vertical Transportation Corps

Shovel: A combat Emplacement Excavator

A lie: Inadvertently disclosed incorrect information

A lie (2): Terminological Inexactitude

Atom Bomb: Radiation enhancement device.

Firing an Employee: Proactive repositioning.

Insanity: Mental activity at the margin.

Lobbyist, Middleman or a Fixer: Freelance marketing consultant.

Debt: Investment deficit.

There is one thing to be said about an egotist - he doesn't talk about other people.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can pick up a big stick.

The average time between throwing something out and needing it again is about two weeks.

Oratory is the art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone

~ Bill Cosby

The cheapest way to get your family tree traced is to run for an office in an election.

After retirement you'll find out that all those things you never had time to do become all those things that you have no money to do.

He was called arrogant, cavalier, cantankerous, impulsive,mercurial, self-absorbed, egotistical, combative, flamboyant, conceited, impractical and in short, a Genius!

Anyone who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.

~ Groucho Marx.

A jack of all trades leads an interesting life. But the master realizes one day that he is no longer the master.

~ Riz khan.

Democracy is inseparable from incompetence.

~ Rudyard Kipling.

Wealth is the foe of ingenuity.

~ Prof.Northcote Parkinson.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

~ Oscar Wilde.

There are many ways of going forward, but only one of standing still.

~ Franklin.D.Roosevelt.

A thief believes everybody steals.

~ E.W.Howe.

Darkness can't drive out darkness; Hate cannot drive out hate.

~ Martin Luther King.Jr.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

~ Anon.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

~ W. M. Lewis.

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.

~ Anon.

Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.

~ Anon.

Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

~ Anon.

Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.

~ Archimedes, (Pappus of Alexandria).

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it has stopped!

~ Marcel Achard.

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Nuggets-Page-6

S.K — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:59:42 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 6

"Today is the Tomorrow that you worried about Yesterday!"

We have countless little ancestors inside us constantly trying to tell us what to do.

"We pretend to work because they pretend to pay."

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday!

Before my parents made me, they broke the mould.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math!

"Time stops when law steps in."

"No man is a hero to his valet!"

Benito Musolini made Italian trains run on time (so did Indira Gandhi in India during Emergency!)

There are some people who are famous only for being famous!

Big jump ideas, if one reviews past history, have come out of mistakes, accidents and madness.

~ Edward de Bono

Some days I feel my life is in a "win-when" situation!

I donâ€™t like to be reminded that I was once inside another person!

"Higher level of intelligence makes the person defend his point increasingly and try to prove someone else wrong."

Opinions are like a**holes - everybody has them!

The smell of wet earth.
Clouds chasing each other.
The flash of a diving kingfisher.
A drink from a burbling brook.
A fruit from a branch above.
A mouthful of mountain mist.
Trees to climb.
Tigers to fear.
And whales to wonder at.
Oh, to be a child and inherit all this.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Altitude has no effect on validity. Bullshit cannot be converted to truth simply by dropping it from a greater height.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the moment of temptation.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom; sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever!

~ A chinese proverb.

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Nuggets-Page-4

S.K — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:57:44 +0000

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 4

Never fart audibly in an interview unless it's part of the job description.

In the blind world of IT the one-eyed nerd is king.

If you want to know what is your 'take-home' pay, look for the smallest figure on the whole pay slip.

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.

A true friend is someone who is prepared to stab you in the front.

A creative mess is better than an idle tidiness.

What doesn''t kill me makes me pissed off, but also a lot stronger.

The article was both original and interesting. But the part that was original was not interesting, and the one that was interesting was not original!

The better the experts are at what they are best at, the more limited is their field of vision.

When you are right, you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.

~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Once you reach the top, it is difficult even on a clear day to see beyond the tip of your nose!

He is as snug as a bug in a rug.

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

~ Thomas Jefferson

Nothing can be a provable certainty, since everything is based on the assumption of one's own cognitive capabilities.

~ Robert Rubin

You don''t get to the thing that you believe in. It gets you!

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

~ Don Marquis

He who knows how to obey, knows how to command.

~ Swami Vivekananda

Selfishness is such a detestable vice that none forgives in others; but none is without in himself!

He who knows not, knows not he knows not, shun him.
He who knows not, knows he knows not, educate him.
He who knows, knows not he knows, awaken him.
He who knows, knows he knows, listen to him.
He who knows not, masquerades he knows and gets away with it, HE is your leader, follow him!

~ S.K

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

There are known knowns - things we know we know. There are known unknowns - things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.

~ Donald Rumsfeld

Good artists copy, great artists steal.

~ Pablo Picasso

There are two kinds of people: Who is who and Who is He

Fighting for Peace is like fu**king for Virginity.

~ An anti-war placard

The Laws of Infernal Dynamics are an adage about the cursedness of the universe. The laws are as follows: 'An object in motion will be moving in the wrong direction. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.'

Activity is not equal to productivity.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Sir, I admit your general rule that evey officer is a fool. But you yourself may serve to show it that every fool is not an officer.

The cost of livimg hasn't reduced its popularity.

If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, quit, since You're the going to be the one.

There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism. Magnetism, n.: Something acting upon a magnet.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Bureaucrats cut red tape -- lengthwise.

What you don't know can hurt you, only you won't know it.

Behold the warranty - the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.

French statesman Clemencean famously described America as the only nation in history which miraculously went direct from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

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