Hindustan or Caste-stan!

April 20, 2008 · Filed Under India-centric, society · 1 Comment 

It is castestan aka Indian Union of castes - “IUC”, pronounced Yuck, avers Manas Chakravarty, in Hindustan Times.

Here is his eminently witty parody on the highly casteist 27% reservation for OBCs in India. (For folks from another part of the globe, India is a funny country where each group would perennially be clamouring for something special for themselves, at the cost of the country).

The Supreme Court’s judgment on the OBC reservation issue has left many people feeling hurt and insecure. The creamy layer among the OBCs feels sad and neglected. Non-creamy layer folks are scared that pay hikes may make them creamy. Advertisers in matrimonial columns are wondering whether they should add the words “Non-creamy layer” before “OBC Groom Wanted”. A smart creamy layer individual wanted to know if he would qualify for non-creamy status if he was paid Rs 2.4 lakh in cash (within the Rs 2.5 lakh annual income limit) with the rest of his salary being paid in wheat, rice, veggies and soap. And that’s apart from the slighted feeling that forward castes have because they haven’t been allotted a quota, or the angst that a Gujjar feels on sighting a Meena.

In order to solve all these problems and to heal the deep divisions within society, the best solution would be to have reservations for as many castes as possible. We could then have quotas for, say, the Deeply Scheduled Castes, the Not-so-Scheduled Castes, the Extremely Backward, the Most Backward, the Other Backward, the Most Backward among the Forward, those Neither Backward nor Forward and so on. We could also have a separate quota for the creamy layer among each one of these castes. And just so they don’t feel left out, we must also have a milky quota, a chocolatey quota, a plain vanilla quota and a frothy quota (this will include all beer-drinkers in each caste). In fact, the plan has already been well received by the media, which has dubbed it Mandal 76501, the figures representing the number of new caste quotas that have been recommended.

Once we have quotas for all of these castes, the next step would be to extend them to every sphere. Why should we have quotas only in educational institutions and government jobs? The government is already talking of reservations in private sector employment. But why limit it to employment? We need extremely backward entrepreneurs, completely scheduled cricketers, backwardly forward movie stars and even a Miss Non-creamy layer India.

The solution: introduce reservations for each of these professions. There is also no reason why we shouldn’t have quotas for politicians. As a matter of fact, it’s absolutely important to drive home the change in thinking by making a big bang statement.

For example, Read more

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