I farted in Twitter!
“I farted twice today” – that was what I twitted recently!
After all Twitter is for that – to announce to the world what you did (or did not do) in less than 140 characters!
And farting is no laughing matter ( may be it has some parallel with laughing gas!). It is quite a natural phenomenon created by flatulence in the stomach. May be the loud aural burst coupled with aromatic spread in a congregation may create a few embarrassing moments, but who can claim that the bio-gas has never escaped through their anal orifice ever!
But that was about the physical fart. What about the bureaucratic breaking wind through the mouth (this metaphor was first used by Prof. Northcote Parkinson, author of the famous “Parkinson’s Law”), which the politicians and bureaucrats indulge in all the time! Their gas consists of multiple solid waste like clichés, promises, hackneyed phrases like “Garibi Hatao (banish poverty), BPL (below poverty line), inclusive growth, under-privileged society and such stuff all the time, at the earliest opportunity. Give them a mike and out flows the fart automagically (sort of involuntary function) without any effort on their part.
The farting trend doesn’t end with oral onslaught. It extends itself to printed out “papers” (running to gazillion pages in A4 size, comb-bound), web sites, blogs, PDFs (keep pace with times, yaar!) and all other means of onslaught.
But farting, per se, is not a bad word (didn’t I say that earlier?).
You can learn about Legendary Farts here.
History records that occasional involuntary escape of wind through the cleavage on seat parts have resulted in unsavory and really discomforting situations to many.
One such episode is that of a football player who was shown a Yellow Card for “breaking wind” as a penalty was being taken. The referee deemed the act “ungentlemanly conduct” and booked the player responsible at Turn Moss in Stretford, Manchester.
There was another case of a pensioner with ‘disgusting flatulence’ who was banned from breaking wind in social club. The club ordered a pensioner to leave the building when he needs to break wind because his flatulence is “disgusting”. But the frail widower admitted that he had a problem but said he often could not make it to the door in time because his explosive flatulence takes him by surprise!
We can only pity that old man whose biological gaseous matter has a mischievous habit of escaping with giving an escape time lag – call it “latency” if you particular about semantics!
One of the first files I downloaded during my baby steps on internet several light years ago was a simple .wri file called “fartfile.wri”. It may be still available in the catacombs of web if you search for it in the big boy Google. But I am not sure the exotic sounds would be available which can be launched through Wordpad any more. But there are many PPS and HTML files available with the same content.
But I want to give a special treat to my customers with the virgin FartFile with full audio loaded!
Here comes:- Read more
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Iran avalanche on Twitter
Recent Iranian election, or the farce of it is making huge waves on the internet almost on all social networking sites including Twitter and YouTube.
I just peeped in #Iranelection and here is what I found:
And the 177 updates happened in just 10 seconds and it was still walloping as I pressed the “Prt Scr” button.
Had I waited a full minute the update count would have crossed 1000. Such was the hyperactivity by netizens on this issue.
And what has triggered this avalanche to a great extent?
Playing and replaying over and over again of the brutal killing of Neda, a teenage Iranian girl during the protests. Here is the video footage:
YouTube - Watch - Neda - Iranian girl shot by Basij
Read the ZDNet commentary on the effect of this video on Iranian regime.
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Productive use of Twitter
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About Me
I am S.K!
Ok, what's the big deal, you may ask! But you may miss a good deal if you do not dwell deep into this web site, specially hand-crafted for you. But what about me, the person? Wait, I am not good at making things up. If you stumble upon a good-sounding résumé, please pass it on to me!
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