Interpersonal Relationship
Your success in all your pursuits depends on how effective you are in interacting and transacting with your fellow human beings. You can’t afford to be an island or a recluse in this world! I have listed some techniques that you can practice to make the most out of your relationship with others that you rub shoulders with in the journey of life. Please read on!
SOME HINTS
-
Understand yourself! Do you fancy this to be a pushover? Come on, you have another think coming!
Perhaps you can scale Mt. Everest in mere slacks and shirtsleeves, but this will be tougher, believe me!
If you can conquer yourself, you can conquer the whole world!
“You are your own friend and your own enemy too!”
~ Bhagavat Gita. - Me, a doormat? Never! Have faith in You!
Never denigrate yourself. You are brought to this world for greater things.
Believe in you, since all you have is YOU!
You have a duty to yourself!
And to those dependent on you. - Keep matters in suspense!Don’t show up your hands easily.
Keep an aura of mystery around you!
Don’t be too obvious!
Keep people guessing! - Know your core competencies. Identify them early and enhance your mastery over them.
All could achieve eminence in some field!
It is a gift of nature. - Never exaggerate! Be frugal in adjectives. To overvalue something is a form of lying!
And in the process, you lose your credibility.
Superlatives cast doubt on your judgment!
It doesn’t show good taste! - Don’t put all your cards on the table – Face Up! Don’t let people get tired of you and sigh, ‘Oh, He…’, when you appear!
Keep them close to your chest.
Don’t show off everyday!
You will stop surprising people!
Display only a little of you each day! -
Make your friends your teachers! You have something to learn from everybody! Benefit from others’ knowledge and experience!
Blend learning with conversation.
Develop mirroring relationships. -
Be brief and to the point. Good things, if brief, twice good! Bad things, if short, not so bad! Don’t be tedious & tiresome!
Brevity is the soul of wit!
Well said is quickly said!
Apply the “KISS“Keep It Short, Stupid”“principle! -
Don’t talk about yourself all the time! Avoid Narcissism and self-adulation! You can’t be a bridegroom in every marriage and a corpse in every funeral!
Don’t praise yourself! – It’s vanity!
Don’t criticize yourself – It’s meekness! -
Do, but also seem! A fine exterior is the best recommendation for the fine interior! Remember, people look at what is apparent!
What is invisible, doesn’t exist!
Both are important – Substance as well as Packing!
Image is more important than performance!
An ounce of image is more powerful than a Pound of Performance!
-
Don’t be made of Glass! Little things upset little people! Be teflon-like, not a ‘touch-me-not’!
Don’t be oversensitive & fragile!
It will annoy others!
You’ll be full of self-pity! -
Make others miss you! You must quit when people ask ‘why’, but not ‘why not’, like what Don Bradman and Sir Frank Worrell did!
Make a lasting impression!
Rivet Peoples’ attention!
Quit when it is bullish!
When your stock is up on the market, to wit, when you have your folks in a spell!
Make a Grade in exit pollsThat is, what folks talk about you at your back – people tend to do it when you had just left a place after a conversation with a group of people. Are you with me?. -
Don’t be frivolous. Be focused. Life is a pretty serious business! Radiate self-assurance and purposefulness!
People will lose interest in you if you are flippant.
Show others that you mean business and you are a kick-ass deliverer. -
Criticism is futile. A human being who will whole-heartedly admit his mistakes when criticised is yet to be born.
~ Dale Carnegie.
Criticism is dangerous because it wounds other’s pride!
Puts people on the defensive and they’ll start justifying their actions!
Remember, one’s mind is always biased towards oneself.
This is one of the mechanisms built in the human genes to ensure survival
– Ask Sigmund Freud about it!Overt criticism is counterproductive. -
Don’t preach Get to the other man’s point of view! Can you take a calf to the barn by preaching?
Don’t be telling what you want others to do or not to do!
Instead, tell them how they will stand to benefit in real terms. -
Never say “YES” when you want to say “NO”! Never accept impossible and outlandish tasks meekly! Then you’ll end up in a perennial misery!
Never try to please everybody!
It is a tall order and an exercise in futility!
Let this not be your “No
“!
Learn to recognise and honour the resounding clarity of the magic word “NO”!
This word, if wisely used without flinching at the hour of call, would prevent catastrophic relationships, unproductive work, and provide you with an exit path from commitments which you’d resent later. -
Never assume! Brain caches data and assumes! That blocks further input of real-time info!
You’ll make an “ass of u and me“!!!
Assumption blocks understanding. -
Be assertive! Don’t quietly swallow your pride and submit meekly!
Insist on what is due to you – you most often get it!
Teach this from childhood.
Whatever you say, make it sound convincing.
Modulate your voice to manifest self-assurance. -
Be diplomatic. Hand out sugar coated pills! Shroud even unpleasant things with words that won’t hurt!
When in doubt – mumble.
When in trouble – Delegate. -
Accept the fact that we are living in an imperfect world! Don’t expect the world to revolve the way you wish!
Life is one heck of a compromise!
Remember that human beings are creatures of Emotions, not of Logic!
Give allowance for other’s follies.
Pray tell me, aren’t you compromising with yourself? -
Sport a sense of humor! Unwind yourself and those around you with your wit! It will create a relaxed atmosphere in which people will have a dispassionate view of things!
Always look at the lighter side of things!
Even tight situations can be turned around by lightheartedness. -
Never enter into an argument – It gets you nowhere! A man convinced against his will, is of the same view still!
Even if you win in an argument, you will ultimately lose.
It leaves a tinge of bitterness all round. -
Encourage disagreements. Yes men are dangerous! You don’t get to know the real picture if your team simply nods for all you say!
It will bring out new ideas.
And prevent disasters in the end.
“When two partners always agree,
One of them is not necessary!” -
Never hurt a man’s ego! Recognize the existence of Ego and super ego! Even if you wish to show you are smarter, make it subtle; don’t rub it in!
It’s a sure way of making enemies!
“Be wiser than others
But do not tell them so!” -
Don’t carry pre-conceived notions about people! Avoid bias and decide on merit of each event or subject!
Be level-headed and try to compartmentalize events!
Don’t be opinionated!
Take time to observe and study people. -
Approach things objectively, not subjectively! Don’t reject someone’s ideas just because you don’t like his nose!
Pick out the gems from any source! - Don’t let personal prejudice mar your judgment!
- “Who” may not be always important, but “What” will be!
wonderful, each one is self revealing
Thanks a bundle, Mr. Varadarajan!
S.K
Good observations, only if we all had the patience to internalise them. How did u fare in the implementation of these? π
Thanks, Gokul.
In fact I had learnt all this in the hard way!
My wish is folks do not commit the mistakes that I did in not fully comprehending the pattern of human behavour and the sway of ego on the emotional reaction of people.
May be I should write a comprehensive essay to supplement these snippets.
Regards,
S.K
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