Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
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Governments keep a lot of secrets from their people.
Why aren't the people in return allowed to keep secrets from the government?
~ Philip Zimmermann, Der Spiegl

If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
~ Susan Ertz

Rule of Defactualization:
Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
~ Joseph Heller, Catch-22

The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do.

Alone, adj.:
In bad company.
~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

No good deed goes unpunished.
~ Clare Boothe Luce

Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
~ Bertrand Russell

O Liberty! How many crimes are committed in thy name!
~ Jeanne-Marie Roland

If you force folks to own what they say, odds are they would watch what they say, too.

Employees make inexcusable errors; bosses make only human mistakes.

There are two ways of knowing. One is to actually know a thing, the other is knowing where to find out.
~ Samuel Johnson

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
~ Ingrid Bergman

Good better best
Never let 'em rest
Till your good is better
And your better best.

If food compromises with poison death will win.
~ Ayn Rand

Exercise and excuse are close cousins.
~ S.K

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side.

If you lend someone money, and never see him again, it was probably worth it.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

You have the right to remain silent. Please exercise it.
~ a T-shirt factoid

Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife.
~ Groucho Marx

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

He was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.

He doesn't know the meaning of fear, but then he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

Work always fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What men know about women".

If god had really intended men to fly, he'd have made it easier to get to the airport.

I don't know, I don't care and it doesn't make any difference.
~ Albert Einstein

You can select any color of the car you want, as long as it is black.
~ Henry Ford

All men are animals. Some make better pets.

I tell you, gold is easier found than kept.
~ Luis L'Amour

The day you start realizing what your father said was right, you already have a son who says you are wrong.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
~ Terry Pratchett

It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.
~ Stephen Fry

"Some oxygen molecules help fires burn, while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother."

If you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

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