Nuggets-Page-4

Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 4

There are two kinds of people: Who is who and Who is He

Fighting for Peace is like fu**king for Virginity.

The Laws of Infernal Dynamics are an adage about the cursedness of the universe. The laws are as follows: ‘An object in motion will be moving in the wrong direction. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.’

Activity is not equal to productivity.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

Sir, I admit your general rule that evey officer is a fool. But you yourself may serve to show it that every fool is not an officer.

The cost of livimg hasn’t reduced its popularity.

If you sit down at a poker game and don’t see a sucker, quit, since You’re the going to be the one.

There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism. Magnetism, n.: Something acting upon a magnet.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.

Bureaucrats cut red tape — lengthwise.

What you don’t know can hurt you, only you won’t know it.

Behold the warranty – the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

God isn’t dead, he just couldn’t find a parking place.

French statesman Clemencean famously described America as the only nation in history which miraculously went direct from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

When the government bureau’s remedies don’t match your problem, you modify the problem, not the remedy.

When God endowed human beings with brains, he did not intend to guarantee them.

In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure..!

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

The Income Tax Act of India runs over 950 pages with an assortment of 298 sections.

Save energy: be apathetic.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

To determine how long it will take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.

Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.

When all other means of communication fail, try words.

News is something someone somewhere doesn’t want printed. Everything else is advertising!

Even the best watchmakers of the world cannot stop time!

Admiration is the daughter of ignorance.

Middle age is when the age starts to show around the middle!

At first man seeks possessions. Then the possessions become the man. Then he loses his self, his spirit and his soul.

Never trouble the trouble until trouble troubles you!

To call him ‘moth-balled’ is an insult to naphthalene.

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