Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
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A hangover is the vengeance of grapes!

You ain't learning nothing when you are talking!

I have made up my mind. So, don't confuse me with facts!

Depression is the higher pitch of sorrow just as rancour is a higher pitch of anger.

'Ties are for slaves!' - A T-Shirt ad.

He was the only one in the group on a trip to Europe who didn't find anything wrong with the Tower of Pisa!

A man isn't necessarily a burglar because he wears a decent set of dress!

If someone doesn't create wealth, and slightly excess of it, charity would not just begin at home but would remain there!

We are on the wrong side of the tapestry
~ Father Brown

Fact is opinion.
~ Jug Soraya

I have been doing this from the time when you were a mere itch in your father's pants.
~ Heared in "Lethal weapon".

All cats are gray in the dark!

Which is bigger, Mr.Bigger or Master Bigger?
Ans: Master Bigger, because he is a little Bigger!
Which is bigger, Mr.Bigger or his Old maid aunt?
Ans: The old maid aunt, because, whatever happens, she is always Bigger!
~ P.G.wodehouse.

Some cute Euphemistic Aliases!

  • Car Salesperson: Transportation Counselor
  • Elevator Operator: A member of the Vertical Transportation Corps
  • Shovel: A combat Emplacement Excavator
  • A lie: Inadvertently disclosed incorrect information
  • A lie (2): Terminological Inexactitude
  • Atom Bomb: Radiation enhancement device.
  • Firing an Employee: Proactive repositioning.
  • Insanity: Mental activity at the margin.
  • Lobbyist, Middleman or a Fixer: Freelance marketing consultant.
  • Debt: Investment deficit.

There is one thing to be said about an egotist - he doesn't talk about other people.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can pick up a big stick.

The average time between throwing something out and needing it again is about two weeks.

Oratory is the art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone
~ Bill Cosby

The cheapest way to get your family tree traced is to run for an office in an election.

After retirement you'll find out that all those things you never had time to do become all those things that you have no money to do.

He was called arrogant, cavalier, cantankerous, impulsive,mercurial, self-absorbed, egotistical, combative, flamboyant, conceited, impractical and in short, a Genius!

Anyone who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.
~ Groucho Marx.

A jack of all trades leads an interesting life. But the master realizes one day that he is no longer the master.
~ Riz khan.

Democracy is inseparable from incompetence.
~ Rudyard Kipling.

Wealth is the foe of ingenuity.
~ Prof.Northcote Parkinson.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
~ Oscar Wilde.

There are many ways of going forward, but only one of standing still.
~ Franklin.D.Roosevelt.

A thief believes everybody steals.
~ E.W.Howe.

Darkness can't drive out darkness; Hate cannot drive out hate.
~ Martin Luther King.Jr.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
~ Anon.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
~ W. M. Lewis.

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
~ Anon.

Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.
~ Anon.

Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
~ Anon.

Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.
~ Archimedes, (Pappus of Alexandria).

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it has stopped!
~ Marcel Achard.

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