Nuggets-Page-8

My dad discovered my mom and then invented me.

A person's worst critics are those who have benefited the most from him.

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.

It's called take-home pay because there's nowhere else you can afford to go with it!

Where there is a will, there is an inheritance tax.

Doctors bury their mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page.

History never looks like history when you are living through it.

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people!

A rupee saved is Income Tax department's oversight.

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with – even if he drank.

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

The great tragedy of science: the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII; and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.

I have learnt silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

Success depends on three things:

• who says it,
• what he says,
• how he says it;

and of these three things,
what he says is the least important.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory can't make it believable.

India has too many laws; too little justice.

An appeaser is one who feeds a corcodile - hoping that it will eat him last.

I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress - show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.

Few people know how to be old.

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

I sometimes feel I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe..!

Don't drill too deep for truth; you'll end up deeply disappointed!

A Whale shark is a whale among sharks, whereas a Killer Whale is a shark among whales!

Each year 100 million sharks are being killed by man - so many that if you put them together, nose to tail, they would encircle the globe five times!

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

If you don't stand for something, you might fall for everything.

It is not the pen.
It is the penmanship.