Nuggets of quirkiest quips, snappy snippets and something zesty and twitty!!
Page :: 9

You must have the steak as well as the sizzle.

I don't see any reason why American troops won't be able to come home Iraq slightly earlier than never!
~ Seen in The Onion.

Dictionary is the place where divorce comes before marriage.

College is a place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

"etc." - A sign to make others believe you know more than you actually do.

A classic is book which people praise, but never read.

Experience is the name men give to their mistakes.

A criminal is guy who is no different from the rest - except that he got caught!

Boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor is one who kills your ills with pills, but kills you with his bills.

"AIDS" - a superconductor (No resistance!)

An elephant is a mouse built on Government specifications.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Be kind to plants; eat more herbivores.

Committees do harm merely by existing.

Repay your debts only if you have plans to ask for more.

Do unto others what they would do unto you, before they get a chance.

An accountant is one who comes to a different conclusion when he adds up your expenses.

It is not enough that you succeed; others must fail.

Junk : Stuff you throw away
Stuff : Junk you keep

Mary had a little lamb - the doctor was surprised!

The buck doesn't even slow down here!

A signature reveals a man's character - sometimes his name too.

In countries under dictatorship, surgeons remove tonsils only through the anus!

Honesty is a policy that never matures for payment.

A friend in need is a friend to avoid!

Reading maketh a full nerd, writing an egghead and speaking a fearful dread!

Justice delayed is advocate longer paid.

Charity begins at home, and stays there mostly.

If you want to achieve success, peck, burrow, bray and kneel.

If you don't succeed at first attempt, bluff and bribe again.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
Ronald Reagon

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

Ten habits of extremely lazy people:-

1. They don't like to finish things.....

The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.

Facts are the enemy of truth.
Miguel de Cervantes

Biography lends to death a new terror.
Oscar Wilde

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *