Nuggets-Page-12

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

I'm getting paid by the hour, and older by the minute.

So many things are going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

I'm prepared for all emergencies, but totally unprepared for everyday life.

53.99% of all statistics are useless.

If you can learn from mistakes, Why am I not a genius?

Never confuse having a career with having a life.

Of all the people I know, you're one of them.

I don't have an attitude; I just have a personality you can't handle.

I think, therefore I am single.

Support bacteria- they're the only culture some people have.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Be nice to nerds; chances are you'll end up working for one.

When you see one nuclear war, you've seen them all.

Masturbation: shaking hands with the unemployed.

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."

You split the universe into fools and non-fools, and find out where the money is. It becomes very obvious.

My five year old daughter was busy with her crayons, and I asked her what she was drawing.
"God", she replied.
I told her that nobody knows what God looks like.
Her reply: "They soon will...!"

A man who smiles when something goes wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on.

Research is like a street lamp:
Some use it for illumination,
others lean on it for support.

Do not disturb.
I'm in the middle of doing nothing.

I'm taking rest preparatory to the next spell - of rest, of course!

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

To get even mundane things done for you in Indian public services,
you must know somebody, or
you must be somebody, or
you must give something to somebody.

The work ethic is dead - long live the individual.

I like order. I like planning. I like schedules.
I'm in trouble.

Should we be a society of values, or of blood, belonging and biology?

Any fool can ask a question which the wisest of men cannot answer.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

If relativity is proved right the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss will call me a Swiss citizen and the French will call me a great scientist.
If relativity is proved wrong, the French will call me a Swiss, the Swiss will call me a German, and the Germans will call me a Jew.

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom.
The end.

Compromise -- Where neither party gets satisfaction.

Those willing to give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

"It has served us well, this myth of Christ."

"Those who say that the Lord died first and then rose up are in error, for he rose up first and then died."

A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

Don't be mean unless it is funny.

There is no difference between a person who can't read and the one who doesn't.

The shortest answer to an impossible question is a scapegoat.