People First
If you can think of something more stringent than Capital Punishment, you bet it is Solitary confinement (or, “the hole!”)
Man being a social animal, he craves continuous interaction with a fellow being of his own species!
I wish to dwell further into the very secret alleys of the enigma that is the homo-sapien!
Keep in mind!
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People tend to remember unpleasant happenings than good ones. Hence it’d be wiser to avoid identifying yourself with the unsavory!
Never be a harbinger of bad news!
Once I did bad
That I heard ever
Once I did good
That I heard never
- Remember others’ Names!
One’s name is the sweetest thing that one wants to hear!
- If you want others to have confidence in you, you appear self-confident first!
- We must accept others as we are – imperfect and incomplete!
Do not apply double standards!
- Do not be comparing yourself continually with others!
- Your carriage, posture, demeanor and speech must exude confidence and generate comfort and peace of mind in others.
- Show people what you can, not what you can’t!
- Communicate with
- Open eyes
- Open mind
- And Open ears
- Communication is an Art!
- Miscommunication is one of the chief causes of all conflicts.
- One word may evoke different responses in people with different backgrounds. Gestures can convey not only different but opposite meanings.
- Be clear in your own mind as to what you want to communicate. Use everyday language.
- Always be “to the point”; do not drivel, hem and haw.
- Look into the eye and speak!
- Write in simple sentences, in plain unambiguous language. Don’t be a show-off – it’ll hurt other’s ego!
- Don’t talk about yourself all the time.
Everyone is interested more on him(her)self, not on you!
Tone down the propensity to go “I”, “I”(1st chapter!) all the time!- Once gets a cheer
- Twice a deaf ear
- Thrice a kick in the rear!
- Don’t be gullible to believe that your performance will speak for itself.
It might speak, but not in a language which will be understood by your bosses and people who matter!
So you must speak for yourself!
- Always be fair.
Apply a norm uniformly
You will be perceived as a fair person.
Even your enemies will start respecting you.
- Develop a robust sense of Humour!
- Always Look at the lighter side of things!
- Wear a smile on your lips
- Make the mirth contagious and spread the smile to others’ faces too.
- Smile is a curve that can put many things straight!
~ As the clichè goes! - It can add sunshine into people’s lives!
- Be a good listener.
- Listening is an art and a skill.
- Give a proper response while listening
- Good listeners listen with their face!
- Listen to both spoken and unspoken words
Please listen carefully to what I am not saying;
What I would like to say;
What for survival I need to say;
But what I can’t say.
- Show a proper body language
- Don’t be judgemental.
- Don’t jump to conclusions based on the information in the memory, for, you may miss the fresh feed
- Keep an open mind till the other man finishes
- Negative responses while listening:
- Changing the topic kaleidoscopically
- Mind wandering
- Babbling,”I know, I know!”
- Avoiding eye-contact
- Premature Response
- Impatience and reticence
- Impulsive quizzing
- Starting to tell your own story, just to salve your ego (you tend to assume that it gets hurt if the other fellow is allowed to talk).
- Try to divine the minds
- Do not expect people to react in a particular way!
- People’s perception is influenced by past events, opinions, culture, ethos, mindsets & notions
- You have to give allowance for these influences.
- Remember: the principle of “quid pro quo” prompts and propels the whole world!
- Call it “Karma Theory”, if you like!
- But there is no action without a cause (may not be apparent, but you can’t discount it!).
- You have to give something to get something (“Win-Win” as Lee Iacoca would say!)
- So, keep that in mind while dealing with others.
- “Six ways to get along better” By Kare Anderson.
(Read her book, “Getting what you want”.)- Sidle.
People are more likely to like each other, remember more of what they discuss, and agree when they “sidle,” standing or sitting side by side, rather than facing each other.
Two women or a man and a woman are more likely to face each other. They literally “face off”. Two men instinctively sidle. Sidling brings people “in sync.” Walking and talking gets you further connected. The best time to resolve issues is while walking together to the meeting, not when you are in the meeting, sitting across from each other. - Look for the underlying issue.
When you are arguing for more than ten minutes, you are probably not discussing the real conflict and are thus unlikely to get it resolved in the discussion. Look for the underlying issue. Read Robert M. Bramson’s Coping with Difficult People for ideas on how to recognize difficult behaviors and ways to respond to them. - Detect lying earlier.
When lying, most people can put an innocent expression on their face when you ask them a question about the topic, yet few (except pathological liars) get the right timing or duration of that expression. Ignore the expression itself when they respond but note whether they appear to put it on too soon or too late and if the duration of the expression seems off. Here your instincts will often guide you to knowing their truthfulness. To learn more about how to detect lying, read Paul Ekman’s book, Telling Lies. - Come back to your scents.
Since smell is the most directly emotional sense, bypassing much of the brain’s thinking process, consider how to introduce positively natural and uplifting scents into your environment as your own “sane self-indulgence.” A naturally scented environment refreshes people, so they feel uplifted. That’s why outlets as diverse as the Rainforest Cafe, Sahara Vegas Casino, Disney/Epcot Home of the Future and San Francisco Aquarium have created natural “signature scents” to avoid allergic reactions while refreshing those they serve.
People who are responsible for your work setting may consider environmental scenting someday. Consider lightly scenting your uniform with the smells that are most comfortingly familiar to you. Two hospitals in Tokyo scent bed sheets with vanilla. Since a Paris hotel began scenting their towels with rose and citrus, guests have been giving more positive reports on the hotel staff’s thoughtfulness and appearance. Vanilla, apple, and chocolate are Americans’ most-liked scents.
- Be vividly specific.
A specific detail or example proves a general conclusion, not the reverse. A vivid, specific detail is memorable, while a general statement is less credible and easily forgotten. Ironically, most adult conversation and advertising is general. Children are more likely to be vividly specific and thus more memorable. When you want to be heard and remembered, characterize your information or request with a vivid, specific detail, example, story or contrasting options. Involve words that relate to the senses. For example “beautiful color” is not as vivid as “blue” which is not as vivid as “cobalt blue.” - Be “plainly clear.”
Avoid wearing patterned clothing or other detail on your clothing, especially on the upper half of the body, because it will shorten the attention span of the person with whom you are speaking.
- Sidle.