International Men’s Day – 19 November, 2008

November 15, 2008 · Filed Under Contoversies, Parenting, living · Comment 

Press release by Save Family Foundation:

“Bharat is a hard-working young man who jumped through hoops to make a successful career as a scientist. He was raised to believe that a good man puts women and children first, protects and provides for his family, respects women, and endures pain and sacrifice without heaving a sigh. Unfortunately, he never realized that a good man is also more often at the receiving end of abuse, until he himself became a victim of spousal violence and witnessed societal apathy towards men like him. To add to his woes, he also became victim of IPC Section 498A, a law which gave undue credibility to his wife, and treated him as guilty until proven innocent. He was arrested and imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, he had to witness his parents and siblings being jailed for no fault of theirs, he lost his job, he suffered enormous pain due to separation from his child, and with no ray of hope in sight, he ended his life at a tender age of 28. News of his death in local dailies read “a scientist ends his life due to financial problems”.

This is the story of just one of the thousands of men in India, whose thankless lives wither away every year just when they are ready to blossom. Statistics from the National Crime Records Bureau show that in the years 2005 and 2006 alone, nearly twice as many married men (52,483 in year 2005 and 55,452 in year 2006), compared to married women (28,186 in year 2005 and 29,869 in year 2006), committed suicide unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse and legal harassment.

Save Family Foundation (SFF) and its sibling organizations have adopted 19th November as “International Men’s Day” to recognize and honor men - our fathers, brothers, partners, sons, male friends and colleagues, for the numerous services they render and the innumerable sacrifices they make to ensure the health and well-being of the family, society and the country.

On this occasion, SFF would also like to review the present status of men in the society and highlight the need to accord men the privileges and protection that they rightly deserve as fellow humans.

The Government of India collects 82% of its tax revenue from men, but not a single rupee has been allocated in the name of men’s welfare in the country’s budget in the last 60 years. On the contrary, men are being subjected to severe discrimination under law and their basic human rights are being violated every day in the name of more and more legal provisions that claim to empower and protect women.

Thousands of men are becoming victims of “legal terrorism” unleashed by the misuse of Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment, and even divorce, maintenance and child custody laws.

The Universal Declaration of Human rights states that “all are equal before the law, and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law”. Article 14 of the Indian Constitution declares that “The State shall not deny to any person equality before the law or the equal protection of the laws within the territory of India.” However, the Government of India has not made any provisions to protect men against any form of domestic abuse or harassment at the work place.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights also proclaims that “everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law.” However, women-protection laws in India presume that the accused man is guilty until proven innocent, thus violating the presumption of innocence and the principles of fair trial guaranteed under Articles 20 and 21 of the Constitution of India, in addition to defying the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

SFF has been working hard to sensitize the public to these serious issues, and to urge the Government to take appropriate measures to alleviate men’s woes in the present times.

As part of these efforts, India celebrated International Men’s Day for the first time on 19 November, 2007, under the aegis of SFF and related organizations. Owing to SFF’s campaign to build a consensus on the celebration of International Men’s Day across the world, Australia is joining hands with India this year.

In observance of International Men’s Day, 2008, SFF is organizing a demonstration at Jantar Mantar, Delhi, on 19 November, 2008, from 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m., to voice our concerns to the public, media, law-makers and the Government of India. Our sentiments will be echoed in cities across India including Mumbai, Kolkata, Nagpur, Lucknow, Bangalore and Hyderabad through the activities of various local chapters and NGOs working towards family harmony and gender equality.

On this occasion, we demand the Government of India to institute a “Ministry for Men’s Welfare” to cater to men’s needs in the changing society.
In addition, we demand the Government of India to:

  • End the “legal terrorism” perpetrated through the misuse of anti-male, anti-family laws. Specifically, Section 498A of IPC should be made bailable. It should also be made non-cognizable to prevent arrests of innocent citizens based on mere complaints unsubstantiated by evidence or investigation.
  • Make civil and criminal laws applicable to men and women equally. Specifically, provisions of IPC 498A, Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment, family laws (divorce, maintenance and child custody) should be made gender-neutral.
  • Pass directives to resolve all marital disputes under civil law.
  • Make provision to punish those who abuse the judicial process irrespective of gender. Specifically, heavy penalties should be imposed on people misusing IPC 498A and Domestic Violence Act as weapons for settling personal scores in marital disputes.
  • Grant joint custody of children to both spouses upon dissolution of marriage.

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“I feel ashamed to be an Indian”

November 1, 2008 · Filed Under Parenting, marriage, society · 1 Comment 

… Laments a harassed husband, ostensibly a NRI.

India being my mother nation it is with heavy heart I’m saying that I wish to change my citizenship to a country where men are not considered to be criminals and rapists by birth! I feel ashamed to be the citizen of a country where its administration and judiciary do not respect the
Constitution by denying men the right to equality and livelihood. I feel ashamed to say that i’m an Indian, when my own minister comes and humiliates me in public for no reason at all with 20000% exaggerated figures of crimes!!! Is marriage a crime in India? Is divorce a crime in India? If there are 20000 pending cases it shows the inefficiency of the administration. Does the minister want all those 20000 accused to
live in the court until the case is finished? Will the court or government pay for their livelihood?

I happen to see the proposal made by NCW (National Commission for Wives?), wherein Indian women are portrayed to be continually subjected to extrema form of cruelty by their NRI husbands. If they think women’s life is in great danger with NRIs why cant they ask for making marriages with NRI illegal? instead of pushing *innocent* women
into danger!!! Why are they more interested in husbands’ hard earned money, properties and even rights in husbands’ parental property? Don’t you think these are against the Constitutional rights?

When I got married I was in fool’s heaven to think that I got the girl of my choice. But later I realized my bitter-half mis-represented herself with the fabricated profile and when I seek divorce they gave me and my parents the title of CRIMINALS!!! by filing IPC Sec 498a and asking Rs.32 lakhs for mutual consent divorce and withdrawing the cases!!!.. Where I’ve NOT demanded a SINGLE PENNY for marriage and where there is no question about dowry at all!!! Mera Bharath Mahaan! It is only with
God’s grace my age old parents having high BP are still alive.

  • [1]Where else in the world can we see someone is first titled “Criminal”, put in jail and then ask him to prove his innocence!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see a divorce case lasting 5 to 15 years or more!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see family issues put in Criminal category!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see Father paying maintenance to the kids and wife but no rights to child custody!!!
  • [1]Where else in the world can we see even senior citizens are dragged into the police station and courts without any investigation!!!
  • [2]Where else in the world can we see only wives are *empowered* but mothers, sisters and sons are completely ignored!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see 1,07,935 married men doing suicide in just 2 years!!!
    Where else in the world can we see a Govt who listen only to Godhra kinda appeals!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see wives blackmailing husbands LEGALLY!!!
  • Where else in the world can we see wives kidnapping kids LEGALLY!!!

I know my voice will not be heard by anyone and I don’t even expect any reply, but I hereby express my deepest sorrow and utter shame for being an Indian.

  • When can I see Gender-biased laws [1][2] trashed?
  • When can I see Gender neutral laws established?
  • When can I get my basic rights?
  • When can I live in peace?

~ A member of the Save Family Foundation, an NGO.

[1] - As per Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code
[2] - As per Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act

Read also : Are NRI’s second class citizens, in the eyes of Indian Government?

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Bachelors beware!

October 17, 2007 · Filed Under marriage, society · Comment 

Legal terrorismThe following are the points for consideration by prospective bridegrooms before taking a plunge in a wedlock with a girl, who is likely to cause enormous misery to you, your parents and sisters!

Use your grey matter. Stop to think. don’t rush your “aye”. Marriage is a game more of intelligence than of emotions.

  1. If the girl’s father is hen-pecked (that is, has no say in her family and/ or bears little or no relation with his own parents),

    If you see rule no 1 on your marriage, simply walk out of the mandap. no second thoughts.never marry the girl.

  2. Always have a gap of 5-6 months between the day you meet her first and the day of your engagement. Meet her atleast 10 times before taking a plunge.
  3. The girl’s family values play much more significant role than her education level.
  4. If the girls’ parents insist for an early marriage, rest assured there is some problem.
  5. Never marry in hurry, Just because you have been searching for partner for past 3-4 years should not become a cause for concern. It’s better late than suffer from anti-dowry law (498A).
  6. If during background check, somebody pointed out something negative about the girl, take it seriously. Remember, people normally don’t point out trivial deficiencies.
  7. Dont trust girl’s or your relatives blindly, no matter how close they are. Do your own background check.
  8. She is toxic if she
    • has invited very few relatives on her marriage
    • has excessively enquired about your financial status and spendings
    • gave you an indication that she may not want to live with your parents
    • is excessively attached with her family but do not show an equivalent degree of attachment with your parents
  9. Last and very important, always trust the instinct of your parents. They are seasoned and see much more than you can. Even small details seen by your old parents, which may seem very trivial to you, can be very important.

Important:

If rule no 1 is found true, simply walk out of the marriage hall. Don’t tarry! No second thoughts.

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NRI marriages - an ugly reality!

July 16, 2007 · Filed Under General · Comment 

You are a NRI or a wannabe NRI and a bachelor?

Please read this.

Also you may read about the yeomen service being rendered by Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) to help the victims of Anti-dowry law in this news item.

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Reverse harassment

July 4, 2007 · Filed Under India-centric · 3 Comments 

legs

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

We have heard ad nauseum about women being harassed by cruel husbands and in-laws. But in the recent past, there are innumerable cases of innocent husbands and their old parents being subjected to abject torture and mental agony by young married women. Such incidents have become ubiquitous especially in the upper and middle strata of Indian society.

Demographically, ladies hailing from elite classes and from so-called upper castes (that includes Brahmins!) are more prone to misuse the provision of Anti-Dowry Harassment Law in India viz: Section 498a of Indian Penal Code.

There are many a horror story of innocent victims of the law. It is a sad state of affairs that the law meant to protect women is misused indiscriminately against men, women and children, who are traumatized for life after being licked by this draconian law. The trauma for the husband’s family can start from the wedding day itself. In fact, it can start even before the shaadi is solemnized!

498a The controversial draconian law “Section 498a of IPC” was formulated in 1983 for the betterment of Indian Society. At that time, nobody had ever imagined that this law would be mainly used to terrorize and torture old and sick elders, innocent mothers and sisters.

Under Section 498a of IPC, if a woman complains of harassment and cruelty by husband, his relatives (old and sick parents, sisters, even children!) and friends, the accused are all considered “guilty till proven innocent”. They all are arrested without investigation or warrant, as this alleged offense is cognizable, non-bailable and non-compoundable. Read more

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