The Great Indian Loo

Indian & Western Style Loos:

There are basically two types of squatters on the pot. The Indian style and the Europian style. So when you start building your house, the engineer will ask you a query as to what style to put in what bathroom (rest room, in US parlance) – IWC or EWC (WC==Water closet)? You have to choose the right one. It is normally EWC for the master bedroom where the memsaab and the master will be cosy and comfy. But for the “common” toilet is relegated to the “desi” style. Even our trains have 1 out of four in “Western Style”. Though the converts to Western style commode is growing, owing to the comfortable seating and the possibilities that it throws up for “multi-tasking”, you can’t discount the inherent advantages of our Indian style. More on this theme as you progress!

The Euro style is really versatile. You can convert it into a Two-in-One seat for your computer desk. It may satisfy certain Vastu stipulations too, in case you are a believer of such occult (pseudo-) science! Some folks are even more ingenious. The rig up a book-rack, hi-fi, a PC (or even a pantry :lol:) inside the rest room!

Yes. Toilet is the place people are at “ease”. Whether it is a mere pee or the “big one”, you release all the tension that has built up in you and you regain your poise and equanimity after the affair is over. So the loo is the real stress buster of your household.

But there is one risk, as the wont of all good things in life! You might have watched Quentin Tarantino’s quaint film “Pulp Fiction” in which the debonair thug John Travolta carries a pulp fiction, enjoys himself in its company in the loo, only to come out and face the bullets from Bruce (Butch) Willis. See, the extra-comfy loo has that lackadaisical effect on you and your reflexes slow down. So the moral of the story is that the loo must not be a la Jacuzzi bath or Sealy bed. It must be spartan and utility-oriented, and not a nook where the men folk tend to laze and daydream. Besides, the pungent gases that gush out of the colon orifice during the pot sessions (fart – the multimedia effect!) are hazardous to health. So, “shit and get off the pot” pronto should be your motto. But that expression should not be used inappropriately as the foolish Chris O’Donnell did while proposing to his girl friend Renee Zellweger in the hilarious comedy “The Bachelor”.

Womenfolk have another set of issues. In a survey conducted by Time on the views of single women, one member of the species avers that it guarantees the toilet seat being always in down position! Men lift it up for a standing pee, but forget to restore the status quo after the discharge ends. The just roll the thing in, zip the fly up and leave. Lazybones, what!

Someone had reported in a court that his penis got injured when it was caught between the toilet edge and the seat sue to a design defect. Perhaps he was awarded a huge compensation, but what about the functional loss? Ok, it is not our problem. Look at the predicament of this man. Can you offer him a solution? Have a heart, yaar!

Now to the Great Indian loo and the way of squatting. Research has found that the Indian style of squatting with the knees bent and the thighs pressing on the abdomen helps in better movement of bowels. And because the muscles are stretched and the joints are bent, you are forced to finish the affair quickly and get out. If you need more dope on how to use one, the above picture may be of help!

There are hi-tech loos like this one too. You can’t stop progress, can you!

Now some fastidious dude has made a customized loo in a personalized style and he carries it wherever he goes!

Ok. Enough of this highly aromatic research!

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